Language
This story has good language which impressed me. Besides, she also uses some figurative language so show her language power such as “tears fell down from her eyes like river”. This shows that she use her language to show the tone and mood of the story.
Style
Her style of writing is simple but it manages to attract the reader. The story explains very well about the setting around her to gives the reader feel her situation. That style is well shown in her story.
Plausibility/ suspension of disbelief
The setting of the story and character is logic. This is because the story explains a struggle of a girl in her marriage life. Besides she includes the conflict between the protagonist and the mother in law.
However, some descriptions are not logic; for example, there are tiles in wooden room. So she must be careful during giving her description about her setting.
Quality of writing
Overall good, but must avoid some specific description about the setting in the story. For example “there were spider webs around the bed”. I feel this should avoid because it giving a image some old of house where there is no human being.
Wednesday 23 November 2011
creative workshop
Kishen and Haran are having lunch in Saravana Bhavan in Bangsar. This is their favorite vegetarian restaurant for having lunch. Kishen is Haran’s good buddy since their childhood. While their ordering their meal, Kishen notice that something is wrong on Haran face and attitude. This is because since childhood Haran is a very talkative and sharing person. But today he is much quiet and looks very stress. The atmosphere of the shop is very busy where people coming in, waitress busy taking order and serving foods. Besides, the smells of the foods are percolating all the people in the shop while everyone waiting for their meals. Both them ordered Rava thosai with mango lassi which their much loved dish in Saravana Bahavan. Haran face showing there is something very serious had happen to him that makes Kishen curios about.In confused, Kishen invite Haran to Ram’s birthday party which going to be at Beach Club in Bangsar today midnight. Haran quickly said no to kishen and he said he have some other important things to settle. Kishen was so disappointed and straightforwardly ask Haran, why he is looking so tedious today. To avoid answering Kishen’s question Haran quickly get up from his chair walk away from there. It is so shocking for Kishen to see Haran’s behavior on that moment. After few minutes, Haran back to their table and sit back on his chair while wiping his face in his handkerchief. Kishen became to furious, “what is wrong with you cha?, why you are like this today? Please be frank to me cha” asked Kishen in a very angry and curious tone. After a minute silent, Haran said that he when to Lambok Estate yesterday. Kishen was shocked, because after 5 years Haran left Kluang that was his first visit to there after he left his birthplace to pursue his study. Kishen really wants to know what was his reason to go there, because there might have possibility Haran to meet Vaani his ex girlfriend.
exercise...
“Haran, join us man, its Kishen birthday party and time to have some fun”,said Ram
“Hmm, sorry Ram I’m not really have mood to join, so you all have fun guys” said Haran with sad tone.
“Hey are you, are you joking?” ask Ram while close his car door harshly.
“No! I’m serious da, i feel so tired and having a light headache too, I will be fine only if I take some short nap”, says Haran just to convince Ram.
“Dei, cha I knew you from childhood da, so don’t simple say something to avoid this party, I know sure there is something else to stopping you to join with us today” said Ram while offer cigarettes to Haran.
“No thanks da, hmm sorry Ram, actually I went Lambok Estate today”, said Haran
“What! You when there, you when there to ask about Vaani is it?” question Ram furiously.
“Hmm, sorry Ram I’m not really have mood to join, so you all have fun guys” said Haran with sad tone.
“Hey are you, are you joking?” ask Ram while close his car door harshly.
“No! I’m serious da, i feel so tired and having a light headache too, I will be fine only if I take some short nap”, says Haran just to convince Ram.
“Dei, cha I knew you from childhood da, so don’t simple say something to avoid this party, I know sure there is something else to stopping you to join with us today” said Ram while offer cigarettes to Haran.
“No thanks da, hmm sorry Ram, actually I went Lambok Estate today”, said Haran
“What! You when there, you when there to ask about Vaani is it?” question Ram furiously.
Wednesday 16 November 2011
critique
The good things
• The description of her characters was good
• Turning point, in her story was the highlight. Example, from the anger mood it change to totally a emotion scene.
The weakness
• Avoid jumping from one situation to another
• Some different explanation on her characters. Example, at the beginning the male character was wearing black jacket at the end he was wearing a blue shirt…
Overall her story is very good.
dialogue practice
• The description of her characters was good
• Turning point, in her story was the highlight. Example, from the anger mood it change to totally a emotion scene.
The weakness
• Avoid jumping from one situation to another
• Some different explanation on her characters. Example, at the beginning the male character was wearing black jacket at the end he was wearing a blue shirt…
Overall her story is very good.
dialogue practice
nothing is true....
I never want to see you again”. she said while pointing her hand towards Naim.
“Why?” Naim was clueless.
“I did some much for you just because I thought you loves me,” said Nanthini while wiping her tears. “Sayang, can you please explains to me what had happens before you continue crying, said Naim emotionally.
“Enough! "I’m tired of all your dramas Naim, "through this one year you were just acting as you love me so much", said Nanthini.
“Don’t make me pits off sayang, "you are showing as you’re the only person who can get angry", shouted Naim.
“Hmm, I’m only shouting and screaming with you here, you should thank for that Naim!, "if any other girl in my place she definitely had slap right to your face," said Nanthini in anger along with tears.
Naim, is speechless.
“I heard everything Naim, you were so selfish, you were telling Sara that you loved me only for my money! How cruel you were?” said Nanthini in very harsh voice?
“Now I know! All your loves was only for my money, all your sweet words are only refers to my money, "you’re are such a cruel person that I had never meet in my life, I came to just say goodbye!” said Nanthini while walking away from there.
“Sayang, sayang” called Naim.
“Why?” Naim was clueless.
“I did some much for you just because I thought you loves me,” said Nanthini while wiping her tears. “Sayang, can you please explains to me what had happens before you continue crying, said Naim emotionally.
“Enough! "I’m tired of all your dramas Naim, "through this one year you were just acting as you love me so much", said Nanthini.
“Don’t make me pits off sayang, "you are showing as you’re the only person who can get angry", shouted Naim.
“Hmm, I’m only shouting and screaming with you here, you should thank for that Naim!, "if any other girl in my place she definitely had slap right to your face," said Nanthini in anger along with tears.
Naim, is speechless.
“I heard everything Naim, you were so selfish, you were telling Sara that you loved me only for my money! How cruel you were?” said Nanthini in very harsh voice?
“Now I know! All your loves was only for my money, all your sweet words are only refers to my money, "you’re are such a cruel person that I had never meet in my life, I came to just say goodbye!” said Nanthini while walking away from there.
“Sayang, sayang” called Naim.
Tuesday 15 November 2011
Settings
Lambak Estate
• The place where Vani was born and grown up
• Small estate with middle class people- low income people
• Most of them are working as rubber tapper
• The community is majority Indian community
• There are helpful and gossip peoples
Taman Impian
• The place where Haran was born and grown up
• The place where Vani go for tuition
• Multicultural community life here- Malay, Chinese, and Indians
• Middle class people
• Indians who knows to speak English and Malay in average
Beach club cafe
• The place where Haran found Vani after 2 years
Island College of technology
• Located in Penang
• Where Haman completed his diploma in Diploma in Information Technology
The plot start from Lambak Estate, where the place Vaani bron and grown up. This is a small estate in Kluang. The community stays there are with low income. This is because most of them are working as rubber tapper. In this estate, Indians are the majority community staying here. There are mostly helpful people in this estate. Another, important setting is Taman Impian, the place Haran was grown up. Besides tha, Vaani use to go there every Saturday for her Tuition classes. In this housing area people are more middle class but slightly higher class compare from Lambok estate people. In addition, there are multicultural community who are from Indians, Malays and Chinese staying in this housing area. The third setting is Island College of Technology which located in Penang. This was the college Haran completed his Diploma in Information Technology. Beach Club Cafe is place where bring the turning point in this story.
• The place where Vani was born and grown up
• Small estate with middle class people- low income people
• Most of them are working as rubber tapper
• The community is majority Indian community
• There are helpful and gossip peoples
Taman Impian
• The place where Haran was born and grown up
• The place where Vani go for tuition
• Multicultural community life here- Malay, Chinese, and Indians
• Middle class people
• Indians who knows to speak English and Malay in average
Beach club cafe
• The place where Haran found Vani after 2 years
Island College of technology
• Located in Penang
• Where Haman completed his diploma in Diploma in Information Technology
The plot start from Lambak Estate, where the place Vaani bron and grown up. This is a small estate in Kluang. The community stays there are with low income. This is because most of them are working as rubber tapper. In this estate, Indians are the majority community staying here. There are mostly helpful people in this estate. Another, important setting is Taman Impian, the place Haran was grown up. Besides tha, Vaani use to go there every Saturday for her Tuition classes. In this housing area people are more middle class but slightly higher class compare from Lambok estate people. In addition, there are multicultural community who are from Indians, Malays and Chinese staying in this housing area. The third setting is Island College of Technology which located in Penang. This was the college Haran completed his Diploma in Information Technology. Beach Club Cafe is place where bring the turning point in this story.
character
CHARACTER
Vaani
• a girl with dark skin, normal height She has a long hair, always with braid with alot of oil on her hair.
• Both parents are rubber tapper
• The only daughter for her parents
• Only wears normal loose blouse with beggie skirts
• Speak tamil and English.
• Only an average student
Loves haran more than anything else, thinks he is the world of her Vaani is the main protagonist in my story; she is from a middle class family. Her both parents are working as a rubber tapper. She is the only daughter for her parents. Vaani is a simple and ordinary girl who stays with her parents in Lambak Estate. She has a dark skin with a long curly hair. Vaani apply a lot of oil on her hair before she braids her hair. She is a very quiet and shy girl compare from other girls in her class. She loves to mumble her favourite songs but always end up being teasing from her friends. This is because she has a bad voice for melody songs. But what is nice about her is she will not take anything serious even her friends laugh at her. Although, her characters are not as town girls but she still managed to impressed Haran. However, once with Haran she is totally opposite. She loves to talks and creates jokes even use to laugh a lot. Haran is Vaani’s boyfriend who came from Kluang town. While at home she is a very humble and lovely daughter for her parents.
Vaani
• a girl with dark skin, normal height She has a long hair, always with braid with alot of oil on her hair.
• Both parents are rubber tapper
• The only daughter for her parents
• Only wears normal loose blouse with beggie skirts
• Speak tamil and English.
• Only an average student
Loves haran more than anything else, thinks he is the world of her Vaani is the main protagonist in my story; she is from a middle class family. Her both parents are working as a rubber tapper. She is the only daughter for her parents. Vaani is a simple and ordinary girl who stays with her parents in Lambak Estate. She has a dark skin with a long curly hair. Vaani apply a lot of oil on her hair before she braids her hair. She is a very quiet and shy girl compare from other girls in her class. She loves to mumble her favourite songs but always end up being teasing from her friends. This is because she has a bad voice for melody songs. But what is nice about her is she will not take anything serious even her friends laugh at her. Although, her characters are not as town girls but she still managed to impressed Haran. However, once with Haran she is totally opposite. She loves to talks and creates jokes even use to laugh a lot. Haran is Vaani’s boyfriend who came from Kluang town. While at home she is a very humble and lovely daughter for her parents.
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